My baby girl..and the memories of photographs
Ok so it is hazard of going through old stuff. I was in process of backing up photos onto my hard-drive. I couldn’t help but peek back at some of the year 1 photos that were already on the hard drive. Then I found some old movies. The ones of her baby laugh, her rolling over, her crawling. I teared up…big happy alligator tears. In fact even as I write this I am feeling them well up again, just thinking about those images.
Babies are such amazing little things. Your baby is even more amazing. All those firsts- firsts for her and firsts for me to experience. Who knew you could experience so much love for one human being.
One set of pictures really reminded me of that love. She was just a little over 2 weeks old. We had been home from the hospital about a week. My mom was there with me helping me recover. I wasn’t dealing with the loss (C-section, to internal bleeding, to problem after problem, to a hysterectomy at age 26) that had occurred but was figuring out how to take care of this precious little thing that was my responsibility. My mom was handling the rest. She was my rock, I was her baby. I was MB’s rock, she was my baby. Each mother focused their entire lives on their baby making sure they were ok, they were surviving. (yes tears streaming now). Sometimes I don’t know how it all turned out the way it did. How I found the strength…but when I think about those days and nights one thing is was constant. My mom was there. My baby was there. Both needing me. The power of a mother’s love.
So there we were, things were starting to get back to normal. I was determined to get MB’s baby photos taken, that was what other mom’s would be doing. So we made our first trip out, just has I had planned. My way of getting things back to normal. Story of my life…when things get off-track, when the stress of life gets too much, I make a schedule, I make a plan, think about what normal should be and focus on making that happen if only for 24 hours, a weekend, a week.
Amazing what memories can be invoked with the simple task of looking at photographs.