A note to Mommy

Posted on September 23, 2010. Filed under: What she said | Tags: , , , , , , , , |

I can’t resist. Here was the morning note I got from MB (via text from TB). Enough to make me smile all day.

Dear Momma,

We buy donuts, chocolate donuts from the store. We’re sorry mommy. You know those white ones we get sometimes, we got chocolate ones. We’re sorry.  (I am not sure what she is sorry for…the fact she is eating donuts, or that she got a different kind then we sometimes get.)

The pumkin growed big and the sun flower is not very big except its tiny. (these are the seeds she got as a gift from family friend and have grown better than any plant kits we have used before)

We love you. Watch out for gators.  (those would be my Florida Gators!)

Here is the photo that went with the note.

Love my munch-kin!

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Sometimes going away is a good thing

Posted on September 22, 2010. Filed under: What he said, What she said | Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

I hate leaving my family. No matter what fun might lie ahead I always miss them. You might have a night or a part of time when you enjoy being a girl on the town, but at the end of the night it is always so much better to be under your own roof when the family all there with you.

However, without going away I wouldn’t feel so much love as I do right now.

I am sitting in a meeting and my phone vibrates. I look down and there is a picture of my two lovebugs beaming at the camera. All smiles which makes me smile. Then I notice the splash pad behind them and a backdrop I don’t recognize. They are someplace new….I of course want all the details but I am in a meeting.

I come back to my hotel and see some Facebook updates from TB…here they are:

‎”I think this might be a good day to smell the breeze, look around, and just have some fun.” 🙂

“I want surf champion for dinner; I want surf champion”. Took me a minute to realize she meant surf and turf. I corrected her, and she was all, “Yeah, THAT’S what I mean”.
Check that. I guess it was “surf boarding champion” she was saying. She just reverted back to that, followed by PLEASE I want some lobster.
I just smile and my heart melts. I wish I was there with them…but then I know it would have been just a normal Monday night. They are making their own memories, they are doing what best buddies too.
Sometimes going away is a good thing…
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Making the bed like a princess

Posted on September 17, 2010. Filed under: Me, Myself, and I, What she said | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , |

So today I went in to help MB make her bed. Part of her daily chores that I must say she is doing really well without much pushing. As I went to help her she yelled at me to stop. I was a little taken back till she informed me that I wasn’t doing it right. I guess she had TB had discussed the proper way to make the bed for a princess and I was no longer qualified to help. My heart is not broken by this discovery…but over filled with love for my lovebugs and their bed made for a princess!

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Lets give thanks for friends

Posted on September 3, 2010. Filed under: Me, Myself, and I | Tags: , , , , , , , , |

Ok so first a confession.

I have fallen short in the prayer department. I don’t know how it happened, it just used to be part of the routine. Yet somehow we fell out of sync and forgot to do evening prayers.

Well tonight I remembered that we had been missing something so after a really long story we said our prayers. We ended it with saying 3 things we are thankful for.

MB’s were

1) Happiness

2) Friends

3) she looked at me and I said the beautiful weather we got to enjoy today.

MB then added a few other thoughts on other things she was thankful for and we talked about God for a bit. MB wanted to make the point that God, even though we couldn’t see him, was always there and alive with us.

Heart melting.

I will not forget prayers in the future.

What a sweet moment to wrap up just a wonderful day with my little family.

Now to tackle the next item on my to-do list, finding us a new church. The last step in getting us settled in.

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I got a good mommy

Posted on August 24, 2010. Filed under: What she said | Tags: , , , , , , , |

We are just driving along enjoying the weekend….it has been a good one. Most of them are good nowadays.

As we drive along MB shares that “she got a good mommy”.

More sweeter words could not have been said. Love my little girl to pieces and since as she says “we were borne together” I must agree that “I got a good girl”. I hope that we will continue in life as my mother and I have…being best friends. There will be no greater reward.

I just wish I could get inside her head when out of the blue she says she loves me, or that I am a good mommy. What prompts those thoughts? Does she know that it melts my heart each time she says it?

But it doesn’t really matter..she says those sweet things, I melt.

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What I learned on my first day of Kindergarten

Posted on August 9, 2010. Filed under: Capture the moment, Me, Myself, and I | Tags: , , , , , , , , , |

Well its official. We are now in school. Kindergarten has begun.

A few things I learned today.

1) A million parents will go the classroom on the first day. Cameras, video, and tears. The principal will have to get them all the leave by saying class is starting. However, if you happen to get to see your little one sitting in their chair at their desk in the big classroom. You will cry. I managed the bus stop ok but the little stop in the classroom. The sweet smile when she saw us there, even though it wasn’t expected. It made me realize that she was a big girl now.

2. I am lucky to be sharing this with someone who is just as caught up in the moment as me. I wasn’t the one doing drive-bys at the school in hopes of seeing MB on the playground. Each time he made my heart swell just a little bit bigger.

3. The little things don’t go un-noticed. I put a little I love you note in MB’s lunch box and while she didn’t say anything at first after being home for a while she says to me “someone put a little note in my lunchbox”, “who did that?”, “you did and it was really sweet”. Enter hug and a few more tears.

4. Expect some independence with what they eat. We had to pack lunch and a snack. When I asked what she ate for her snack turns out she ate her PB&J for the snack and ate the carrots, grapes, cheese as lunch.

5. There is no better feeling then every time you tell someone who MB’s teacher is they squeal with delight and tell you how much you will love him. I heard so many wonderful things about Mr. Kindergarten that I can’t wait to see him live in action.

6. That even if your little one goes to school for years it won’t be the same as their first day of kindergarten. I have not been a SAHM so MB has always been in pre-school. We have done drop off and pick up for years. Yet today it was different. I paced, I could never fully focus and constantly was waiting for her to come home off the school bus. There is no preparation for when they really head off to school.

7. That I have wonderful neighbors. From the first greeting of the day telling MB she looked great for her big day, to the bus stop chatter, to the mom who brought popsicles for all the kids when they got off the bus, till the last neighbor who checked in to see how the day was — and all the other’s that followed it on facebook. It takes a village and I am loving our village.

8. Life is good and I officially have a Kindergartner.

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The day is finally here

Posted on August 4, 2010. Filed under: Me, Myself, and I | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , |

To my little princess.

Your mommy has been looking forward to tomorrow for 3 long years. I can’t even begin to explain the feelings of happiness, contentment, and relief that I am feeling.

For the past 3 years your mommy has had to learn how to be away from you for 2 weeks at a time. To not be a part of every minute of your life. It has been hard. So hard. I have missed you from the moment you said good-bye on the airplane to the minute you landed back in my arms. I have had to learn to let so much go. There have been times when it has just been too much. But I have had to be strong for you. I have had to protect you and your innocence. I have done the best that I could. Sometimes I have not been able to protect you from others and for that I am sorry but we will work through that together and someday it will all be a memory.

But tomorrow is the day my world becomes right again. I no longer will have to go 2 weeks without you. We no longer will have to have that crazy back and forth life. We will have a more normal schedule. You will have settled life. No more 2 schools & 2 schedules, no more flying 2 weekends a month, no more disruptions.

I have waited and dreamed of this day for so long…it is what has kept me going when things have gotten bad. I have heard it in your voice on the phone as you count down the days till you come home. The countdown is over sweetie.

So much has changed in the last 3 years. I am amazed at how you have grown and what an amazing little girl you are. You are so resilient and going to continue to grow into such a wonderful person.

It is now just not you and I, we have TB. We are rebuilding our family. We have made a fresh start at life in AZ and already have made good friends and are building our community. You are starting Kindergarten. It is going to be an amazing year.

I love you with all of my heart little one and tomorrow is going to be one of the happiest days of my life.

p.s. your doggies are ready for snuggles too. The books are from me and the Camelback and hiking socks are from best buddy. “You must always be hydrated in the desert”

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Missing the laughter…

Posted on July 26, 2010. Filed under: Me, Myself, and I | Tags: , , , , , , , |

Well not the horse..but when his image popped up I did smile.

TB makes me laugh. Even when I don’t want to he makes me laugh.

I know he will read this but he knows he makes me laugh..even when I try hard not to.

Laughter is happiness.

I love that he makes me laugh.

I love that he makes MB giggle.

I miss the funnies when he is gone.

He tries to get out of trouble with funnies. Sometimes it works…sometimes it doesn’t.

But when he is home so is the laughter. There is always laughter. Always.

I am enjoying the quiet time. I am enjoying some unusual for me girlfriend time. A wonderful morning walk with a neighbor. A girls nights out tomorrow. I am getting lots of things crossed off the task list. But I am missing the laughter.

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My baby girl..and the memories of photographs

Posted on July 25, 2010. Filed under: Me, Myself, and I | Tags: , , , , , , , |

Ok so it is hazard of going through old stuff. I was in process of backing up photos onto my hard-drive. I couldn’t help but peek back at some of the year 1 photos that were already on the hard drive. Then I found some old movies. The ones of her baby laugh, her rolling over, her crawling. I teared up…big happy alligator tears. In fact even as I write this I am feeling them well up again, just thinking about those images.

Babies are such amazing little things. Your baby is even more amazing. All those firsts- firsts for her and firsts for me to experience. Who knew you could experience so much love for one human being.

One set of pictures really reminded me of that love. She was just a little over 2 weeks old. We had been home from the hospital about a week. My mom was there with me helping me recover. I wasn’t dealing with the loss (C-section, to internal bleeding, to problem after problem, to a hysterectomy at age 26) that had occurred but was figuring out how to take care of this precious little thing that was my responsibility. My mom was handling the rest. She was my rock, I was her baby. I was MB’s rock, she was my baby. Each mother focused their entire lives on their baby making sure they were ok, they were surviving. (yes tears streaming now). Sometimes I don’t know how it all turned out the way it did. How I found the strength…but when I think about those days and nights one thing is was constant. My mom was there. My baby was there. Both needing me. The power of a mother’s love.

So there we were, things were starting to get back to normal. I was determined to get MB’s baby photos taken, that was what other mom’s would be doing. So we made our first trip out, just has I had planned. My way of getting things back to normal. Story of my life…when things get off-track, when the stress of life gets too much, I make a schedule, I make a plan, think about what normal should be and focus on making that happen if only for 24 hours, a weekend, a week.

Amazing what memories can be invoked with the simple task of looking at photographs.

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Back-flips off the diving board

Posted on July 16, 2010. Filed under: Me, Myself, and I, What he said | Tags: , , , , |

After a really long week we are visiting family down in Indy. Couldn’t of planned it better…after everything we have been through this week I couldn’t be happier watching MB play with other kids and frolic around just enjoying being 5.

We slept in today with MB as she had her armed wrapped through mine in a death grip through most of the night. Waking up to 3 little ones whispering outside our door to see if we were awake yet.

After a leisurely morning we headed to TB’s parent’s house and to the pool. I had one of the moments where I just feel in love all over again with TB. The kids were frolicking in the pool, TB comes out after changing into his suit, heads straight to the diving board, he tested the bounce, then took a running start, and did a back-flip into the pool. MB was amazed. Well we all were amazed. Just another classic moment of TB being a kid with the kids. As he watered down the slide, did more flips, and just played with 4 kids single-handed I sat back and smiled. He was a natural and he was enjoying every minute. I couldn’t adore this man more. He is everything you want in a father, uncle, best buddy.

4 hours later I found myself in the pool with the same 4 kids…now while there were no back-flips in my routine I can give dolphin rides, share floats with any little one that wants to relax!

Pool, sun, laughs, cries, smiles, and tears….just another day of fun in the sun. Tomorrow we are doing it again with even more kids….hopefully I won’t forget the camera!

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